


tuesday afternoon + joshler

by lemonjosh



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Blindness, Gay, Glaucoma, Love, M/M, basically just pure domesticity, joshler - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 18:05:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18078392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonjosh/pseuds/lemonjosh
Summary: when tyler loses his sight, josh is there. he'll always be there. he has to be there.





	tuesday afternoon + joshler

"Josh. Josh. Josh."

His hands found salvation in his hips, and he was breathing, breathing so deep and full and loud that he never wanted to stop. He never wanted to stop breathing. 

" _Josh. Josh. Josh_."

"Fuck yeah, you like that?" Josh's voice was a groan. 

"Josh,  _Josh_ , I think-" 

Tyler had stilled. His eyes were wide open, his face was contorted to something that seemed almost terrified. Josh stilled too, hands still on Tyler's hips, but gripping more out of fear than pleasure then. 

He wasn't looking down at Josh. He was staring straight ahead, right at the picture hanging above their bed. A picture of them right after they got engaged. Tyler's cheeks were red and his eyes were wet, but so were Josh's. Josh cried as he got down on one knee, cried as Tyler said yes, cried as they spun around and manifested themselves into each other. 

"Tyler, are you okay?" Josh asked, he was still buried deep in Tyler. He didn't feel it, Tyler didn't feel it.

"Josh," his voice was barely above a whisper. It was a squeak, a frail mouse, a crushed insect. It was nearly nonexistent. "Josh, I can't see." But his eyes were open. 

Josh wanted to stop breathing.

**_..._ **

"I'll fucking whack you with it, I swear."

Tyler is holding up his stick. The end is blunt plastic, a little rough from skimming across every surface the ground has to offer. Josh is behind him, he's snickering like a child, and Tyler's chin is held up like he actually knows what he's doing. 

"You wouldn't dare," Josh challenges, and Tyler whips around, nearly tripping on Jim's leash as it twists around his knees, and jams his stick out in front of him. Josh is quick to jump away, cackling with laughter. 

"This isn't fair!" Tyler's voice is a whine. "Stop being so mean."

"I'm only doing this out of love," Josh says, hooking his fingers into Tyler's belt loops. Tyler shivers, he can feel Josh's knuckles through the denim fabric of his jeans. He can feel everything, everything is heightened.

"How is this out of love?" Tyler pouts, hand tight on Jim's leash, the other on his stick. He prods the bottom of it against what he thinks is the side of Josh's shoe. He lifts his foot, finds the end of the stick, finds what it's touching. It feels like a shoe, it's Josh's shoe. 

Tyler's eyes are trained behind Josh, all the way down to the aisle of muffins. But he can't see. But Josh can see. But Tyler can feel. He can feel Josh. Tyler can feel Josh.

"Because I love taunting you," Josh says teasingly. He's looking right into Tyler's dark brown eyes. He doesn't wear sunglasses, his eyes look normal. They look like eyes that can see. They can move, he can move his eyes around and make it look like he's looking at things, but he really isn't. 

He still wears his glasses too, it's only routine. He became so used to wearing them as his vision gradually decreased that it feels almost wrong to not wear them now, even if he doesn't need them anymore. 

"Meanie," Tyler breathes, eyes still trained forward, still staring at everything and nothing at once. Jim is sitting on the floor, sniffing the back of Josh's knee through his pant leg. 

Josh pecks Tyler's cheek, stubble against lips. Josh has to help him shave now. 

"Come on, let's go get some muffins."

"This better be one good-ass breakfast or I'm going to cancel our entire honeymoon," Tyler threatens, managing to knock the end of his stick against Josh's ankle lightly. But he doesn't know it's Josh's ankle, he only knows it's a part of him. 

"We can't cancel our honeymoon if it's still in the same city as where we live," Josh says, laughing. He pushes the cart, Tyler walking behind him, one hand holding his stick and the other holding Jim's leash. Jim guides him so that he won't unknowingly walk off. 

"God, you're so  _mean_ ," Tyler whines, but he walks forward anyway, and he can hear the rustle of Jim's vest as he trots in front of him.

"You're just being a big baby."

**_..._ **

"Come on, let me do it."

Josh is sitting on the closed toilet seat, nothing but a pair of boxers on, shoulders hunched, hair wild. His hair is always wild and unkempt, and it was Tyler's favorite thing when he could see. It still is, he loves running his fingers through it and feeling the beaten, dye-ruined strands. Even if it isn't as soft as it used to be due to years of dye abuse, Tyler still loves it wholly.

"You're going to shave my eyebrows off if you do," Josh warns, holding the hair clippers in his hand. The sides are getting a little long, Tyler could feel it. 

Tyler pouts, Josh loves it when he pouts. He kisses Tyler's wrist.

Tyler is staring at the edge of the mirror, not really staring, but still staring. It's intent, he's naked from a shower, all dry, but he hasn't bothered to put on any boxers yet.

Josh doesn't mind. 

"Come on, please?" Tyler pleads. "I used to do it all the time."

"Yeah, back when you could see," Josh jokes. He always jokes, but it doesn't bother Tyler. It was a sensitive subject for awhile. It left Tyler in bed, burrowed under the blankets where things couldn't get any darker than they already were in his eyes. He refused to leave the house for weeks.

But it's been awhile, a year now, and he's gotten used to it. Sure, he may miss being able to see, but it's alright. He's okay. He's okay.

Josh caves, he was going to let Tyler shave the sides of his head either way. "At least let me guide you." 

And he does, he grips Tyler's hand over the hair clippers and guides him, making sure he avoids the bright pink mess of the hair that he wishes to keep. Together they crop it close, the sides of his head, but still with a little bit of fuzz. Not enough for Tyler to run his fingers through, though.

In bed, Tyler is still naked. Jim is laying in the corner of his room on his respective bed, Josh is rummaging through their dresser for a pair of boxers for Tyler.

"Don't forget, we have to be up at seven," he says, nudging for Tyler to roll over onto his back once he has found boxers for him. Tyler groans, lifting his ankles so that Josh can slip his legs through. He pulls them up, tight, snug against his bottom and front. 

"Why did we have to schedule our wedding for so early?" Tyler whines, he's always whining. He has an arm thrown over his face, shielding the eyes that can't see from anything and everything. 

Josh is sitting between his legs, thumbs rubbing circles into his hips. "Because we both know you're going to get cranky if the reception is at night. You like your sleep."

Tyler giggles. "You're right, I do love sleeping." Tyler can sleep all day without trying, it's both a blessing and a curse. 

"Bet you're gonna keep me up, though," Josh breathes, pressing himself closer towards Tyler. Tyler's legs tighten around Josh's torso, he uncovers his eyes and stares at the blank ceiling, the ceiling that he can't see. Josh hovers his face over Tyler's, Tyler's eyes are still open, staring right into Josh's. Josh closes his eyes. "Bet we could go all night."

His hips lower, their crotches meet, and he bucks against Tyler. Tyler's eyes close, he shifts on the bed. He grabs Josh's face in his hands, studying the stubble lining his jaw with the pads of his thumbs. "Thought we were supposed to wait until tomorrow," he mumbles, he's getting tired. He's half hard, Josh is fully hard, and he really wants to fuck Tyler.

"Who cares about that?" Josh mumbles, beginning to suck on the expanse of skin behind Tyler's ear. He's so close, their bodies are in complete contact. 

"I care," Tyler slurs, yawning. "We've gone so long without it, what's waiting another night going to do to us?"

This time, Josh whines. It really has been awhile. He and Tyler haven't had sex in nearly three weeks. They made a pact saying that if they held off having sex for three weeks before the wedding then Josh could make Tyler orgasm until he cried as soon as they got to the hotel. Tyler knows he's going to cry. 

"You'll be fine," Tyler kisses Josh sloppily. "You can hold off for another night. It won't kill you."

Josh falls down beside Tyler, boxers constricting against his boner. "I swear, Tyler, you will be the death of me."

**_..._ **

Tyler's eyes are closed. 

He listens to the quiet way the comb pulls through as he sits, slumped, sinking into the cushioned chair in the dressing room he doesn't know. He thinks he might be sitting in front of a mirror, but he can't be sure and it doesn't even matter anyway.

He thinks his mom might be crying. "You alright, mom?" Tyler asks, prodding the fabric of the slacks covering his legs. He's wearing a suit. 

Kelly sniffles, but she continues combing Tyler's hair. It probably doesn't need to be combed anymore, but she continues and neither of them say anything.

Maddy's scurrying into the room. "Ty, it's almost time, do you know where Jim is?"

"Josh's room," Tyler tells her, and it's funny because Jim is Tyler's seeing-eye dog, meant to guide him everywhere, but Tyler let him stay with Josh in his own dressing room while he got ready separately. Maddy is running off to get Jim for Tyler, though, because he sort of needs his help getting down the aisle, even though his mother and father will be walking him down together. 

Kelly eventually stops combing Tyler's hair. He is fresh shaven, Josh helped him when they woke up. It doesn't make much sense to Tyler that they have to get ready in separate rooms because Tyler can't see Josh either way.

Jim is sniffing at Tyler's ankles as soon as Maddy brings him in. "He's wearing a bow-tie," she tells Tyler. "He's matching you and Josh."

"What color?" Tyler reaches out gingerly, fingers searching and searching until they reach Jim's fur, and he feels for the soft, velvety bow clipped onto what Tyler thinks might be a suit for dogs. Tyler doesn't even know what Jim looks like, fully. He knows that he's a golden retriever, that he's very soft, but he's not quite sure if he remembers what golden retrievers look like anymore. 

"Pink. Josh's hair. Lipstick. Um, Valentine's day."

"Hmm." Tyler's eyes are open, his glasses are pushed up to the bridge of his nose, always sliding down a little due to how thin Tyler's nose really is. He's unknowingly staring at himself in the mirror, eyes combing over his appearance and the room and Jim and Maddy and his mother. Kelly is crying, her son is getting married. 

But that might not be the only reason why she's crying. 

"Mom, why are you crying?" Tyler turns around, he turns around too much and he's not even facing Kelly. She wails. "Mom?"

She knows not to hug Tyler. It isn't that Tyler doesn't like hugs, he loves hugs, especially from Josh, but now that Tyler can't see, when things he isn't aware of touch him, he's prone to being startled. So Kelly doesn't touch, she doesn't hug, she only wipes her eyes with a tissue to avoid messing up her makeup. 

"Nothing, nothing, it's okay," Kelly breathes. It's shaky.

Tyler's dad is in the room now. "Tyler, I think it's time," he says. Maddy is scurrying out of the room this time, trying to get to her seat next to her boyfriend that she's been with since high school. They'll probably get engaged soon. 

Tyler is breathing. 

Even if he's been with Josh for a long time, a very long time, seven years now, he still manages to get butterflies in his stomach at the thought of him. They have lived together for six years, having moved in together after a year or so of dating, and bought a house together a little over a year ago, but still. Tyler thinks he should be used to this by now, new things with Josh. 

But this is so different, and Tyler is ready.

**_..._ **

Tyler wishes he could see it coming. He wishes he could see Josh coming.

Even when Tyler's eyesight gradually become worse, he could still see some, but his prescription worsened and he had to constantly change glasses. They couldn't explain it, they didn't know what was wrong with him until he actually lost his sight. 

Glaucoma, that's what it was called.

Even if he still had his sight, Tyler probably wouldn't have seen this coming.

Nothing too extraordinary, only Josh leaning in to kiss him after the _you may now kiss the groom_  stuff, but the way he does it, god. Tyler would think that he didn't get weak in the knees anymore. But it almost feels surreal, the way he feels Josh's tears slip down his against his cheeks, mixing with his very own.

It's surreal, it really can't be real, the way Josh holds him this tight can't be real. None of this can be real, but it is, and they're breathing, and Tyler may only see darkness, but the darkness has never been so bright.

**_..._ **

It really doesn't matter where they could have their honeymoon, because neither would care. As long as they were with each other.

So, a fancy hotel in Columbus, their hometown, bright and shining, could be considered the best honeymoon of all time. "I just want you to know that it doesn't matter to me," Tyler says to Josh in their car, the  _just married_  sign painted on the back window, "where we go."

Josh is pulling into the parking lot. It's just barely dinnertime, but they ate at the reception. They stole food off of each other's plates and kissed and Tyler never felt more alive. His body is still buzzing with excitement.

"I know, I know," Josh breathes. Tyler is twisting the black band around his finger, a habit already forming. "I just - I don't know. Shouldn't our honeymoon be somewhere more grand? We haven't left the city in forever."

Tyler turns in his seat, body angled towards Josh, eyes trained on the window behind him. He can't see the parking lot. He fumbles around for Josh's hand and Josh's stomach aches in the best way once he finds it. Tyler squeezes their fingers together, tight enough to break bones. "Josh, what did I just say?" he whispers.

"But I-"

" _Josh_."

Josh is defeated, he sighs, rubbing his eyes. He's a little tired from all the dancing they did. Their first dance, Tyler buried his head in Josh's body, crawling into every crevice his skin holds. And they swayed, Tyler's feet on top of Josh's, holding on for dear life. And Josh breathed in the scent of Tyler's green apple shampoo like it was going out of style. 

"You're right, I'm sorry." He kisses each and every one of Tyler's knuckles, and then his ring, their matching black rings. "Come on, let's go inside."

They have nothing but backpacks. Their house is in the suburban part of the city, only a ten minute drive with traffic, so they don't need much. Only a change of clothes and toiletries, and the lube Josh had packed the night before. They don't need condoms, they're the only ones either has been with. Losing their virginity to each other was something neither of them could ever forget. And they never will, because it may have been awkward and Josh may have been sweating in more places than either could count due to extended nerves, but it was incredibly intimate and involved a lot of tears.

Tyler steps out of the car on his own, shirt unbuttoned and bow-tie hanging loosely around his neck, undone. Josh's mother has Jim for the night. Tyler grabs his stick and grips it tightly. Josh is holding both backpacks, but Tyler still manages to find his hand either way. 

Tyler walks slowly, Josh matches his pace, and then he hears a "Reservation for Dun" and an "Enjoy your honeymoon" and then Josh is guiding him.

"It's on the top floor," Josh mumbles in his ear. They're in an elevator now. Tyler can feel it rising quickly, his grip on Josh's hand only tightens. Being blind in an elevator is strange, Tyler won't ever get used to the feeling.

Their room smells like roses and chocolate, and Tyler hears the quiet thump of their backpacks dropping to the floor. Josh lets go of his hand, and Tyler takes this opportunity to skim his fingers across the edge of the bed, once he finds it. It's big, it stretches on for awhile. "Flower petals," he mutters. "Right?"

"Yeah." Josh is behind him, Tyler's eyes are open, trained on the lamp next to the bed. There are two, one on either side. Tyler is rubbing one of the flower petals between his forefinger and thumb, and Josh nibbles on his earlobe. "I love you so much." His voice is sultry, soft like the flower petals, like his skin, his nipples, his tongue. 

Tyler tosses his stick onto the bed, he hears it land, and his glasses slip down his nose. He closes his eyes and turns around, Josh grounds him with his hands on his hips. 

Tyler reaches out, he knows he's touching the bump in Josh's nose. He feels for the silver ring in his left nostril, and nearly sticks his finger up it, and Josh is giggling. His hair is softer today, but still hard from the years of relentless dye. "Pink," Josh says. "Candy, Valentine's day, flowers. Uh.... Blush."

"My favorite." Tyler tugs on it, not hard, not soft, and tries kissing Josh's mouth, kissing and getting his philtrum, cupid's bow, instead. Josh is laughing even harder. "Y'know, Maddy said Valentines day too."

Josh blushes, but Tyler can't see. He can only feel the heat of his cheeks through the tips of his fingers. "The walls of that place were super thin," he confesses. "Might've heard."

"That's okay." Tyler closes his eyes and pushes up his glasses from between the lenses. They're kind of dirty, but he doesn't need to clean them to avoid seeing the grease. Josh still cleans them for him sometimes, though. "What's the room like?"

"Oh, absolutely horrid," Josh jokes. "There are stains on the sheets, the floor hasn't been vacuumed, and I think I saw a rat scurry into the bathroom a second ago."

Tyler giggles, finding solace in Josh's voice and hands. His own curl around to hold onto Josh's bottom, to squeeze, and even though his eyes are still closed and sightless, he can still imagine that Josh is a godly sight. He wants his face to be etched into the clouds so the sunlight would filter through his pores and shine down on Tyler's skin, warming him in every way. "Really, tell me."

Josh hums, burying his nose in Tyler's green apple hair, lips on his forehead. He presses kisses to old acne scars. "Well, the carpet is dark blue, the walls are a really, really pale blue, and the bed is huge. It's covered in flower petals. There's a big television and a balcony with chairs on it. I haven't looked at the bathroom yet."

"Go check," Tyler mumbles. "I hope there's a big bathtub or something."

Josh checks, there is a big bath tub with bubble bath in a bottle and candles sprinkled along the edges. It's obvious this hotel knows what it's doing. 

"We should take a bath," Tyler says. "Like, right now."

**_..._ **

Tyler almost refuses to leave the bath, soap curling around his toes and under his armpits. His skin is wrinkling up. 

"You look like a raisin," Josh comments, skin exposed to the open air, not so much as a towel hanging loosely from his hips. "Come on, get up. We should move things towards the bed."

Tyler sinks further into the bubbles. "It's warm, though."

"You really want to do it in the bath? Remember what happened last time?"

Last time, as they were doing it in the bathtub, Tyler hit his head against the faucet and ended up having to get six stitches on his head. Thankfully his hair covers the scar. At the thought, Tyler grimaces. "You're right."

It's unspoken, but Josh helps him up. He has to, Tyler can't get out on his own. Tyler fumbles for a towel, Josh guides his hand towards the rack and the towels are incredibly soft. Tyler doesn't like air drying like Josh, he doesn't like feeling the water drip town his skin because it tickles. Tyler scowls as Josh is patting him dry and he feels his wet, spent hair. "Oh, come on, at least dry off your hair as best as you can."

"It's not hurting anyone, silly," Josh mumbles as he stands up fully, mussing Tyler's hair up as he rubs it with a towel. 

"I don't want water flying all over me when we're in bed."

It's far fetched, but Josh says, "Then why don't you ride me?" and Tyler immediately frowns, feeling for his glasses on the counter. Josh puts them on his face, holding his breath, waiting for an answer.

"You know how I feel about that," he says quietly. Tyler knows it's stupid, he's sensitive about it, but Josh doesn't push it. That's what Tyler was doing when he lost his sight.

"Hey, it's okay, I'll dry my hair off."

**_..._ **

Just to make him wait even further, Tyler really does just sit there until Josh's hair is dry. It's obviously as a joke, but Josh complies, laying in the bed naked. 

Tyler is nearly naked too, but a towel lies draped over his waist, his bare bottom pressing into the blanket. 

Josh stretches his arms behind his head, hair drying at its own pace, and Tyler's unseeing eyes are trained on the ceiling. "It's been like, twenty minutes," Josh says, feeling his hair. It is only slightly damp at the roots, but other than that, it really is dry. "It's pretty much dry."

Tyler angles his body towards Josh, hip squishing against the bed, eyes now closed. He feels for Josh's hair, and he finds it quickly, but Josh closes his own eyes so that Tyler won't accidentally poke them. 

"Still a little wet," Tyler mumbles, and Josh can feel the cold metal of his wedding band against his scalp, "but it'll do."

And most would think that is that, but it is so much more. Tyler has to scoot up towards the headboard, many pillows propped up behind his head and neck, and Josh lazily discards his towel for him, the lube already placed on the nightstand. 

"Can you believe we're actually married?" Josh asks, placing Tyler's glasses on the nightstand next to the bottle of lube when Tyler hands them to him. "It's kind of crazy." 

"How is it crazy?" Tyler sighs, getting comfortable under Josh's weight. Josh straddles Tyler's stomach, running his hands through Tyler's hair, which is also mainly dry. It doesn't take long for Tyler's hair to dry. His chest is completely smooth. Tyler has always had an odd problem with growing body hair. It refuses to grow on his chest and arms, but anywhere else, it grows just fine.

"I don't know," Josh says, popping his neck several times. He and Tyler are both hard, they're both ready because it's been three weeks. Josh is excited for Tyler to cry, but only in the best way - he hates making him cry when it's for negative reasons. "We've been together for so long and it just took me forever to propose. I never thought I'd be able to do it."

"You big baby," Tyler smiles, cupping Josh's face. He studies every aspect of it when he can. His hands are nearly always on Josh in some way. "I would have waited forever for you."

"Stop, you're going to make me cry." Josh silences him with a kiss, a deep kiss, infiltrating his entire being into Tyler's. Their skin molds together and they become a singular being, full of love and life and Tyler doesn't regret the last sight he had ever seen being Josh's face and brightly colored hair. It's pink now, but at the time, it was yellow. 

"I'm supposed to be the one crying tonight," Tyler whispers in Josh's ear. Their eyes are closed. "Come on, make me cry. I want you."

Josh has always had strong shoulders. Even when they had just met and Josh wasn't as muscular as he is now. At eighteen, Josh's features were softer, younger, and he was working out by then, albeit less intense than now. He still has curves, hips for Tyler to grab onto, but they're only more defined. And good god, back to his shoulders. They were always strong, strong enough to hold Tyler up during concerts and during moments where they lacked a ladder to reach the  _perfect_  apple at the top of Josh's mother's tree. And he never dropped Tyler.

Tyler's fingertips dig into the hollows of Josh's shoulders as their hips connect and disconnect, connect and disconnect. It's a sequence and it works perfectly. Tyler can swear he sees pink.

The corners of his eyes are wet.

Josh breathes him in like a flower, or maybe that's just the flower petals beneath them, sticking to their wet, shower-clean skin. Tyler is tan due to years of sun exposure even before they met, and after they met, skin darker than Josh's pale exterior. But Josh has pounds of muscle on him. Tyler ever deemed it worthy to work out, but it isn't like Tyler's weak. No, by no means is he weak. He still has naturally muscular arms, but they're not as muscular as Josh's. 

There are no words spoken between them, only simple praises in the form of kisses and high-pitched gasps from Tyler's red, bitten lips. 

But that's okay, because they're okay.

Tyler spells out entire sentences in Braille with the freckles on Josh's back, planting stars and entire constellations. He listens to every bump and curve, senses heightened. He is a bird trapped in Josh's rib cage, and there may be a door to let him out, but Tyler has locked himself in and swallowed the key voluntarily.

In five years, Josh will be thirty. In five years and a little under six months, Tyler will be thirty. Of course Josh didn't mind getting married only a week after his twenty-fifth birthday.

Sometimes, Tyler feels old. He and Josh have known each other since he was seventeen and Josh was eighteen and drumming at a mutual friend's house. Sometimes, Tyler feels like he's only getting older, that his face is going to wrinkle and sag. But when he's with Josh, he feels young. Right now, he's never felt younger.

Flower petals bleed into their skin and the universe has exploded, leaving nothing but the two of them. Tyler can see everything and nothing all at once. He can see pink, purple, yellow, blue, green, red, orange, and dark brown. Every shade Josh's hair has ever been.

He can only see Josh, because Josh is a great big ocean of stars and planets all pink in color, and Tyler is drowning in it. 


End file.
